Monthly Archives: June 2018

The Foundation Of A Healthy Relationship

In this time it becomes necessary to address issues affecting relationships. There is a high rate of divorce and relationship uncertainty. The home as the back bone of any society has been neglected over the years, the major stabilizers for this institution are the women folks, and how have they prioritized the home. What are their values, what is their ultimate goal? Most women place their priority on career, personal ambitions and others. Marriage is the least of their priority. This is one of the reasons why there is inadequate preparation before marriage. This explains why there is increase in divorce and failed relationships. Here we look at the foundation of a healthy relationship.

This article is meant for serious minded people not people who go into relationship for fun, such people hop in and out of relationships degrading the sanctity of relationship and undermining the values of what relationship should be; thy abuse it and lead many sincere innocent women and men into emotional despair and frustration.

Here I’m talking to people who intend to build a home. Not fakes, not pretenders, not use and dump. They are reasons why relationships fail one of it is lack of preparation. Marriage is the only institution that you have admission without writing exams or given a test, even when they do, they do not practice what there were taught. This has also affected many marriages and home in general. Certain principles have been ignored, we are in a world where men search for women to get married but can’t find, most men talk of “marriage material” what does this imply? On the other hand, most women will not get into marriage with any kind of person, they don’t get into marriage for the sake of it; they seek for marriage with dignity and self respect. Women seem not to prioritize marriage in the early age of their life, but it becomes a thing of almost importance in their later years of their life.

It’s time to change such mentality, being married does not change your ideology, rather early planning gives you ample opportunities to make the right choice, “one who will share in your dreams and aspiration”.

Every relationship has its own rules and policy, unfortunately that of marriage has been undermined; basically there are certain things you need to know before venturing into any relationship. It is necessary that you get prepared

1. Are you prepared for any relationship?

Most people go into a relationship for the fun of it or felt somehow they need a date. Going into a relationship without having clear reasons, or for selfish motive does not define your person. The attitude you portray today goes a long way to shape your future. If you are not prepared for any relationship, do not get into it no matter the circumstances, for young girls don’t ever think of “boyfriend/girlfriend issues” there are the things that may eventually destroy you, I always advice young ladies that the best age for marriage is 21 to 25. However, for whichever reason you choose to delay, preparation is the foundation for any successful relationship. Are you ready? How satisfied are you in such circumstance? You just have to be yourself; it must not be based on what someone said, or pressure from the opposite sex or any other. When you compromise against your wish, you bare the pains alone when the ill wind of relationship start blowing on you, no matter how people may seem to comfort you, you bare the pains alone. As a young lady work with age limit, dating should not exceed two years. which means you should only consider men who are ready for marriage,it may sound strange, study shows that people who date for more than two years have 70% chances that they might likely break up, it also lead to unwanted pregnancy and having children out of wedlock. Love is not just emotions it is also the ability to choose what you want, when you allow love to over shadow your ability and character you lost the ability to think right and make good decisions, you become blind. When love becomes blind, you know what that means. A blind man has no direction and can only be led by someone who sees. Preparation enables you to avoid bit falls.

2. Choose the right person

This is one of the most difficult aspects when it comes to relationships. The truth is you only know who a person is in times of adversity. Human are complex in nature, in relationships it’s not really about perfection but the ability to accommodate someone, accepting someone’s short coming the way it is, this is because you have two different people from different backgrounds. These are the factors you have to consider, because the person you think is an angel can turn up to be what you never imagined.

No matter how complex it may be “you know what you want” no matter the nature of things and the circumstance you may find yourself in, there are factors that may lead you to achieve good result. There are patience, watching and prayers. When you rush into a relationship you might likely rush out or live in pain; I have always advised that you wait a while. At this time friendship becomes necessary, but not too close, it all allows you the privilege of knowing new things and making new discovery.

3. Are you compatible?

No matter the emotions and pressure, be yourself; never say “yes” until you have “sorted out things” the only way to know how compatible you are is to become friends. What do you really want? What are your dreams, are you comfortable with his job, his way of life?

Be sure about your compatibleness, is not right to build up hopes, is really frustrating when you start regretting why you accepted such relationship. When you are not compatible you may likely have relationships problem which may lead to break up, when you start getting along having discussions it enables you both to know each other, then you will be able to know if you can live together.

4. Your reasons

Your motives, your thoughts and your overall reason will determine how healthy your relationship will be. This area is very important, when you fail to sort this out you might end up having heart breaks, you may not have confident in yourselves. Are you going into a relationship for beauty, wealth? Whichever reasons; what happens when what you hoped for fails you? To be on safe quad it should be for one reason “love” do you love him? Does he love you?

Material things are sometimes temporal when they fail that might be the end of such relationship. When you look at material things chance are that you might likely meat “fakes” deceivers, those who pretend to be what they are not. In the end they become your worst enemies. When you define what you want and be patient enough, you will know who they are. Your reasons should be genuine. In as much as you need a responsible man, love is the principal thing.

5. Is love involved?

In that regard you take more time and access yourself if your affection is based on love. The worst relationship is that without love. If you do not have true love, don’t venture into any relationship. Love is the foundation: the holy bible says; love covers transgressions, therefore in times of adversities true love keeps two people together. The person you are interested to; does he love you? What are his motives? When you give him sometime it will go a long way to show who he really is.

6. Be open

Openness in any relationship breeds trust. You must have to be truthful to yourselves. If you want peace, develop self confidence in yourself, first expression matters a lot, do not try to please anybody, keep no secret. Be yourself, it is better to break up early than to mess up yourself.

The beauty of any relationship is trust. Trust has its own foundation, trust and love work hand in hand. There are the things that make a relationship healthy; not trusting someone is also the foundation of problems in any relationship. If you can’t trust, you can’t keep a relationship, any relationship without trust is full of problems you can never be in peace in such relationship if you want peace trust, be sincere.

7. Know your values

Is very common these days that people go into a relationship without putting into consideration what defines them. When you define what your values are; you come to terms.

Self esteem is very important it produces your worth. How does your friend regard you? The way and manner you present yourself to someone will determine how much regard he has for you. When you make yourself so cheap you give room to undue attractions for anyone to hop in and out your life. Dress yourself to be yourself. Women of great value do not dress for attraction; they dress for dignity and self esteem. When you ignore the basics and allow certain things to influence your character, at the end you force yourself for marriage. You must also understand the different between lust and love as a lady, you must have principles that guide you when you are in a relationship, and you come together and define your values. Understanding who you are as a people will go a long way to eliminate gender inequality in a relationship. When you know your values you protect it.

8. Be quick to solve problems

In section seven we talked about values. Protecting your values is one of the basics to problem solving in any relationship, values produces respect defines boundaries and limits.

No matter the gravity of the issues involved, you must understand your limits. Every relationship has its own problem. The way it is approached and handled is what matters; when two people are together they must put certain things into consideration when ever problem arises. You must understand that there is no problem that worth destroying your relationship/marriage, admit your faults, be quick to say am sorry, be quick to solve problems, avoid third party in your relationship. (The only third party is God) don’t throw blames handle issues with humility, pride comes before destruction. When you are angry work away for a while, when your partner refuses to see reasons accept the blame, it takes nothing from you. But in good times advice he/she on the matter, it builds relationship. The issues of misunderstanding and pride should be looked at during courtship. Pride is what destroys any relationship, what you cannot deal with during courtship; you can’t handle it in marriage. When you discover an attitude you cannot cope with is better you quit. Never go into a relationship to change anyone.

9. Take responsibilities

You must show yourself to be responsible enough; a well coordinated organized relationship has less troubles. You must be responsible.

As a lady learn to fulfill your primary responsibilities, both partners must understand their goals this will enable the ideal partner to compliment you and support you to fulfill your dreams. Taking responsibilities will help you drive your goals together, it helps strengthen growth and corporation, when this is in existence you see yourself as partners working together to achieve a particular objectives – you see yourselves working for the good of each other and the future.

As a lady, it is good that you work to also complement your man. But if the man felt is not necessary,” you let it be”

As far as he is capable of taking care of the family, this is acceptable to avoid problems; you have many other ways of contributing to the well being of the home. Private business is acceptable at this time.

10. Spend time together

Spending time together is one of the finest ingredients that spice up a relationship; any relationship that couples do not spend time together is incomplete.

In a relationship one thing complements the other. Spending time together creates oneness, intimacy and increases love and affections, no matter how your job schedule may be create time to stay together. It also helps in reducing depression build confident and trust.

Love And Relationships

Relationships usually start off full of bliss, fun and enjoyment, and there is no much better feeling than that ‘brand-new relationship’ feeling.

What are the things to do to save a relationship when love is falling apart?

As soon as you start seeing some signs of a failing relationship you begin to stress and might even begin acting and thinking irrationally– perhaps muttering to yourself, “Please help me save my relationship,” which truly does not help the circumstance one bit.

Sure, it’s good that you are acknowledging that you need to save your relationship, but only you know within yourself if you are holding onto truth or fantasy.

The Course in Miracles states, “It is still up to you to choose to join with truth or with illusion. But remember that to choose one is to let the other go.”

How you act now can make or break your relationship, so if you truly want to find ways to save a failing relationship then the following pointers might be useful to you.

Exactly what is the Problem in the Relationship?

If they aren’t resolved, all love and relationships will have some problems, but some issues are worse than others and these issues are the ones that can break a relationship.

Even the little issues need looked into at the source when considering things to do to save a relationship, even though they are small, they can build up gradually and become the cause of love and relationships failing.

The Course in Miracles further states, “The ego seeks to ‘resolve’ its problems, not at their source, but where they were not made.”

Speak to Your Partner about the Problem

A relationship is a two person journey and you can not resolve all problems on your own.

Do not simply try to deal with the issue yourself if there is a problem in your relationship you will need to sit down with your partner and discuss it.

By discussing any problems that you have then you can both pursue solving the issue and learn how to save your relationship.

Do You and Your Partner Still Love Each Other?

Love is a really powerful tool and if you both still enjoy each other, then you should be able to use that source to save your relationship.

If you can keep the above suggestions in mind, it is possible to save a failing relationship that has issues.

Love is a two way street and you both need to feel love towards each other and be dedicated to saving your relationship.

If there is still a twinkle of love, can a relationship be saved?

Yes, of course, hope is among the top of the list on things to do to save a relationship.

To save a failing relationship, first understand that all relationships will have some issues, however some issues are worse than others, and these issues are the ones that can break a relationship if they aren’t resolved.

To save your relationship and your love for your partner, it is essential to determine any issues and work through them together.

Break Up Advice For Leaving A Relationship

You have to have the ability to move forward in life, so above all, provide yourself time, and you might want to deal with the ending of the relationship nearly like a death.

It actually does not matter whether you wanted the relationship to end or not. When you had genuine wish for the relationship, the point is it has ended and there was a time.

Acknowledge that and acknowledge your disappointment that leaving a relationship has occurred and you’ll come through this in time.

Previously I discussed more on learning what’s going on today with relationships and men, and what men love about women.

Many who are you looking for relationship separation advice set for the relationship to be over and have no interest in trying to conserve the relationship, and they will walk away cold turkey, so to speak.

Break up advice for those who want to save the marriage or save a relationship need to learn how to carry themselves during the time when arrows and bows, quite perhaps, might be flying.

If you are at the point where your partner states comments about leaving a relationship and wants to end the relationship, then my suggestion is start thinking about the phases of feelings following a separation.

If you have no interest in reviving the relationship, then the relationship break up advice you’re looking for is about discovering healing strategies so you may let move and go on.

The Phases of Feelings Following Separation

One the finest of relationships will have some issues and if they aren’t solved they can lead to the end of the relationship.

When their relationship reaches break up point, an individual can go from being on top of the world to being on the bottom of the earth.

When your relationship breaks up your heart is broken and the pain you feel is genuine and exceptionally sharp.

Everybody responds in a different way to relationship break up and separation, some will cope much better than others.

When going through a relationship break up, there are basic stages:

When your relationship has abruptly ended you will feel shock

Then the shock may not be as terrific, if you understood there was problem and a separation was on its way.

There will still be some degree of shock.

If you were still in love and delighted in the relationship, but your partner ended it out of the blue, then the shock you will feel will be very strong.

When you choose not to think that the relationship is over.

Maybe you have actually remained in denial that there have been any problems taking place within your relationship, and do not wish to accept that the relationship is now over.

You may try to convince yourself that it is simply a short-term problem that you will be able to deal with.

Sadly, if your partner has actually broken off the relationship then it might be far too late to deal with any problems that have been building up gradually.

When leaving a love relationship, feeling anxiety and depression can be overwhelming.

If you are the partner that wanted to end the relationship you will still experience sadness at this significant phase of your life, no-one enjoys ending a relationship and even.

It can take time to reach this stage, once you accept that the relationship is over then you can move on with your life.

Be happy that you were able to experience a caring relationship for the time it put the separation and lasted and the relationship as something of the past.

The Course in Miracles states, “If all but loving thoughts has been forgotten, what remains is eternal. And the transformed past is made like the present.”

Even the best of relationship advice tells us that we all have some issues, and if they aren’t fixed they can lead to the end of the relationship.

If you are rejecting the notion that there have been no troubled relationship issues, and don’t want to accept it is now over, do yourself a favor and find healing advice.

No-one takes pleasure in ending a relationship, because it fogs up the mind of both parties involved, even if you are the partner who decided on leaving a relationship.

Both sides will still experience some sorrow and confusion during this healing stage of your life.

Once found each other and were able for a while to connect both mindfully and physically for a period of your life, be happy that you.

Put the split and the relationship behind you, and move forward in life.

You’re going to need to be mindfully sound and acting right-mindedly from Spirit instead of the judgmental wrong-minded ego.

You’ll need a healed attitude if you’re ever to experience positive reconciliation when it comes to contacting your ex in a couple of months or weeks, or however long it takes.

The Course in Miracles states, “The ego seeks to ‘resolve’ its problems, not at their source, but where they were not made. And thus it seeks to guarantee there will be no solution.”

The leaving a relationship, or break up advice, you’re looking for is about finding techniques for how to cope with healing your wounds, if you have no interest in rekindling the relationship.

Seeing Signs To Leave A Relationship

Leaving or staying in a relationship that is a troubled relationship can be a tough decision. We’ve all checked out some dating and relationship suggestions or break up advice one way or another, before taking action.

There are many kinds of relationships we’ve experienced from kinship relations, neighborhood accessory, association, formalized union, non-formal intimacies, casual relationships, platonic ones, brotherhoods, relationships, or true love.

All kinds of relationships between two or more people are formed through some form of attentive and active steps in a relationship.

Discovering the steps in (stay, or leave) a relationship

First it’s a good idea to think about how healthy relationships are formed, developed, and maintained in a life-long dedication phase.

More significantly, expert-recommended actions in a relationship guide the best course of those people involved in a relationship, which especially applies virtually to a bad relationship.

I mean to those in need of mending or little appreciation, even those relationships that remain in a good-height, but likewise in an ‘I-hope-this-never-ends,’ sort of yearning.

In the beginning phases, one is never concerned over thoughts of, when to leave a relationship, a lot into the care and mutuality he or she experiences that he is keen on thinking that he should be taking the best actions in a relationship.

Until, the relationship either shatters into signs to leave a relationship with depressing pressures, or blossoms into a fantastic healthy relationship and love connection.

Frequently though unfortunately, an individual’s very first impulse once his relationship enters into a critical shift stage, is to begin thinking about leaving a relationship.

No one wants to believe that he or she’s stuck in a rut, that the battling’s that make the signs to leave a relationship are pretty darn regular, and nothing is getting better.

Or that she/he’s simply a victim to the circulation.

The matter, all relationships do undergo normal stages, yet, those individuals associated with it likewise have their power of choice and ability as to stay or leave, and which actions to take.

We all have a hand to stay or leave, and there are indeed shown successful methods to keep a troubled relationship and work on healing it.

It is up to you if you want to go through measures to heal the relationship– a kind of starting over, and appreciate someone’s presence in your life.

I mean a change in attitude for healing the relationship, like little things as, take rejection politely, understand conversational cues, talk tact yet simple, pull a lady’s chair, and show interest.

Perhaps, be affectionate, remain open, smile, be mild, forgive, forget the past, offer possibilities, state I’m sorry, reveal I Love You, make a promise, keep it, and show continued respect.

It’s up to you, and as I said, we all have an option to either begin and stay healing, or make up your mind on leaving a relationship, decide, and then, merely do it.

The matter, all relationships do undergo through normal stages, yet, those people involved in it likewise have a choice and capability as to which actions in a relationship to take.

Best Ways for Saving a Relationship or Move on in Life

Are you looking at leaving a relationship and need break up advice?

Now that may extremely well be true, but however terribly you’re feeling right now on your relationship issues, this sensation will pass!

What you do now with signs to leave a relationship depends on the best relationship advice you’re searching for.

You will go one down one path if you’re already thinking about when to leave a relationship and have no interest in trying to save a relationship.

If on the other hand you’re looking for a way to save your marriage or love relationship, then you will need an entire different set of troubled relationship tips to make this take place.

Relationship breakup advice for those who ‘d rather stay than leaving a relationship is based upon how you handle yourself in the run-up to the separation and immediately after the break up.

If you are at the point in your relationship where your partner has just revealed they want to end the relationship, then my suggestions to you is to agree to the separation.

Your greatest mistake would be to attempt and persuade your ex to stay in a bad relationship and not to choose leaving a relationship.

Agree to the separation, let your ex go and admit things were bad, and you wished they were otherwise more positive.

Your plan now is to get yourself together.

Yes, you’re ravaged that the one you love could actually decide on leaving a relationship, but you have to find a way to handle that devastation.

I mean you must handle it in a manner that will help you to revive your relationship in the future.

It’s crucial to invest some time pertaining to a few key terms with what has happened in the relationship.

– You need to do this on your own, without your ex.

Make no attempt to contact your ex, rather find your family and close friends and let them help you through this upsetting time.

– What you can also do is to make peace with yourself.

As humans and being ego-based– meaning that aspect of fear and self-doubt, we all make errors and depending on the level of your error, it is forgivable!

Needed For Saving Your Relationship?

When a couple is contemplating over the notion, can a relationship be saved, and healing indeed does occur to revive the relationship, this is a wonderful experience.

When a relationship first begins the happiness that you both are feeling deep within you may seem like you can’t ask for anything more.

There may come a time when understanding that your relationship is in trouble and might perhaps reach the end of the line, might be stunning and disastrous news to you.

Thus, you have to act now and answer to, can a relationship be saved, and proceed to try to begin saving a relationship before marriage separation or breakup advice is considered.

If you’re interested in saving a relationship these ideas might be an excellent point for where to begin:

Determine the Relationship Problem

Determining the root cause of a possible relationship failure is the real first action to save a relationship.

When mulling over, can a relationship be saved, it is really essential for you to recognize the issues present in your relationship, in order to save your relationship and your love for your substantial other.

Talk about the Problem with Your Significant Other

Thus, you have to discuss all things with your spouse or partner in life as soon as you have actually finished recognizing the issues which are present in your relationship.

If you’ve been in your relationship for a good quantity of time, this will be particularly important to you.

Make Sure that Love Is Present

Previously I discussed in a well-received session about when love might be lost and the partner seems to be thinking about separation as a choice, and what you should and should not do.

If you’re both together on the idea of, can a relationship be saved, you have to make sure that love is constantly present in your relationship to avoid any possible break ups.
How to save your relationship can be discovered, as long as there is still a glimmer of love within your significant other.

Saving a relationship is actually possible and it means keeping your feelings of defense in check and keeping your cool are also really essential parts to this complex equation.

The Course in Miracles states, “It is essential to realize that all defenses do what they would defend.”

You have to act now when considering, can a relationship be saved, and try to save your love for your considerable other as well as your invaluable relationship.

Recognizing the source of the problems of a possible relationship failure is the extremely first action to save a relationship.

Be Willing and Ready to Fix Things

It is truly essential for you to look closely and accept the problems as fixable where healing may begin.

When you are realizing the love you have toward one another and where forgiveness plays a key role in the healing process, can a relationship be saved is answered with optimism.

Yes, saving a relationship is possible, as long as there is a willingness and readiness to heal and forgive, and being open-minded to the spark of love still shining within you both.

Sadly there are times when marriage separation is the option chosen because relationship advice or counseling was sought for too late.

(Please note I suggest searching the net for further content on things like, when ending a relationship is the decision and where relationship breakup seems to be the only way to find happiness.)

How to Enjoy No-Regret Relationships

Most of us have a few regrets about our relationships. That’s just life.

This article is about how you can learn from your regrets and use them to strategically build exceptional relationships . . . relationships that are so good you won’t have future regrets in your personal or professional life . . . relationships that will reward you with great happiness.

No Regret Relationships

I got the idea for “No Regret Relationships” from one of the hardest experiences of my life – a near death experience. As I lay in my hospital bed recovering from the tragic event that almost took my life, I realized the utter importance of relationships . . . and I suddenly understood I had never given my relationships enough attention . . .

Nor had I been as loving and caring as I wished.

So I developed a plan to enhance all my current relationships and to make the most of future relationships. While doing this, I developed a relationship coaching program to help my clients create the most satisfying and enjoyable relationships possible. The following brief ideas are taken from my no-regret relationship coaching program.

How To Conduct No Regret Relationships

1. Put your relationships first.

2. Live your life in such a way as you will not harm anyone. In other words, simply do no harm in your relationships. Conduct all relationships in a manner so you will do right by everyone, even if they are unkind to you.

Yes, this is harder than it sounds, but it’s possible . . . if you set this lofty but attainable goal, and really go after it, you can do it.

If you apply this idea to all forms of communication in your relationships, your relationships will become intensely more satisfying!

2. Accept responsibility for your actions, admit you are wrong, apologize and take swift and certain steps to make a bad relationship better. If you accidentally do harm or make a mistake in your relationships, fix it immediately.

3. Prevent regrets. That means you will actively care for your relationships and keep them in such good working order that you allow no regrets to occur.

You won’t put off relationship responsibilities.

You will enjoy remarkably healthy relationships that will bring you endless benefits when you do your best by each and every relationship in your life . . . and if your life suddenly ended, you would leave without regret . . . because all your relationships would be in tip-top shape. This would bring new meaning to the process of death and dying . . . and incredible peace of mind.

Think of it, all the people in your life would be better in some way because of you!

You would leave a legacy of excellent, loving relationships . . . and through those relationships you would leave the world a better place. Many ripples would go out from those relationships, ripples affecting many situations and people. Through your relationships, both more important and less important, you would make a significant impact upon the affairs of others.

Above all, you would leave a marvelous example of how to live and love and serve. You would be a relationship benefactor to many, whose loving acts would impact countless others.

Unquestionably your positive influence would live on long after you.

4. Inject a newfound generosity and kindness into your relationships, and think of every relationship as having the potential to change lives. Love and relationships are the pathways of our expression. Relationships are the means by which we express our love.

5. Listen with every ounce of your energy when people share themselves with you. Listening from your heart takes courage, will power and self-discipline, but it does wonders for people! And it will do wonders for you, if you listen to discover new ways you can contribute to your relationships.

Listening with great focus and energy allows you to explore ways you could not only give more to your relationships, but become more thoughtful and appreciative, or find small but creative ways to touch lives.

The beauty of the ideas behind No Regret Relationships is their simplicity and power. And they work! They’ve worked for many of my clients, and they’ll work for you, too.

My near death experience showed me just how important our relationships truly are . . . and how priceless! Also, it gave me a refreshing perspective on death and dying. One that has helped me to see relationships as precious and sacred cargo.

Give to your relationships and they will give to you unimaginable treasures.

Take these techniques for a test drive. What a favorable impact they’ll have on your relationships, great or small.

Richard Hamon is a dynamic coach and therapist with 30 years of professional experience. Richard helps people to solve their relationship problems, enjoy truly extraordinary marriages and find exceptional success in all areas of their lives.